On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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