sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
