my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
