meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
