well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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