My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
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I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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