What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
