What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Only a mothe r could love this liver
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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