The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i dont even know how to be here
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
