just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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