you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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