The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
