It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
