I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
me + whiskey = a bad person
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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