shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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