yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
