I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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