she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
