i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
