Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
