i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
