If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
