How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
