went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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