i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
