just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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