There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
