i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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