where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
