Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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