Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize