She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
