Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
YAS. BRING CRAB.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
