My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
as a side note pls kill me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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