he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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