is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize