New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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