He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
