I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
