College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
