Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
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He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
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There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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