Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Randomize
