So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
