Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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