He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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