I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Sext me about skeletons
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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