Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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