did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
