also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
