yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
