She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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