Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
