but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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