do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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