When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
