I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
