So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
