i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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